The Silent Room

(Dedicated To The Memory Of Those Who Were Lost At Sandy Hook Elementary)

I stand in his room and look at the clothes
His uniform unwashed, his backpack torn
I lean in the doorway afraid to go in
Fearing the memories that come
And the death within
It seems so empty, so quiet
Without him here
And yet so perfect
Because this is how was
Before
Here I realize
The past is here
and it’s not going to leave
ever
I look at the pictures
the trophies
the bible on the bed
and begin to cry
At the hypocrisy of God
He believed so much
In a short period of time
He believed in Heaven
And I hope he was right
Faith has new meaning
Now that my son is gone
I don’t believe in life after death
So I’m lost
In this silent room

Something’s Wrong

I came through the door

and stopped

something was different

I called out your name

and you didn’t call back

I ran through the house

and nothing’s left

everything’s gone

the pictures

the memories

but most importantly

You.

 

How could you leave

without a trace?

how could you take away

our very existence?

I blame you

for our relationship death

i damn you

i curse you

I’d kill you at best

 

But somehow I know

it was all my fault

for shuttin you out

and keeping the key to myself

The war I started

Though the battle you won

and now you’re gone

I realize

something’s terribly wrong

In The Garden

I heard a voice in the garden

It was singing to me

A song from the past

I thought I knew

A tune that brought back

The memories of you

But I turned my back

And walked away

Forgetting all about you

And the song I heard that day

Change

A moment begins

It’s a second too early

I’m not quite ready for it

I’m just not there

 

It changes everything

From the look

To the smell

Uncertainty begins

At the beginning of the now

 

To say it is impossible

Is comparing clouds to snow

One has to happen

To let the other go

 

I thought it was over

Put the past in the box

Shipped it back to hell

 

But this changes it

It readies me

For the feeling

Of something else

Or the promise

Of something more